Tonight’s review is one that even I didn’t know I wanted until it happened. I love junk food (obviously). I’ve also watched pro wrestling since I was a child. Never in my life did I think I would see those two worlds collide. Until…Booty O’s.
Some background for those who aren’t wrestling fans like me (probably all of you): Booty O’s were a fictional cereal dreamed up by fan-favorite group The New Day, made up of Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods. They’re the longest-reigning tag team champs of all-time–351 days and counting–and one of the most entertaining groups the WWE has ever seen. Big E is known for his hip gyrations and Xavier Woods is rarely seen without his trombone Francesca. The trio often talks about the “power of positivity” and preaches about the importance of not being “booty,” which is basically the opposite of cool. In short, everything they do is amazing. Take, for example, their entrance at WrestleMania last April (WWE’s version of the Super Bowl):
Until now, The New Day’s brilliant idea was just that–an idea. It was an idea that was continually teased, not only with that larger-than-life entrance, but also with a t-shirt in a collectible box. However, after months of wondering if Booty O’s would ever actually exist, New Day fans everywhere have finally gotten their wish: Booty O’s cereal has arrived. It’s sold exclusively at entertainment store FYE and fye.com for $12.99 a box. You might think that’s a lot to pay for cereal, and…well, you’re right. Naturally, I bought two.
The packaging for this cereal is wonderful. The back of the box contains a word search game (which includes the phrase “tricep meat”), as well as a cut-out “booticorn” mask (UPDATE: see my attempt here). One side of the box displays instructions on how to dance like Big E. I’m going to skip right to the only step that matters.
Booty O’s are toasted oat cereal pieces with marshmallow shapes. The oat pieces aren’t really “o’s,” but who cares? The marshmallow shapes include stars, smiles, unicorn horns, rainbow hearts, magic, tag titles, and booty crowns. I never thought I would type the phrase “booty crowns” for any reason in my lifetime, but here we are.
Look, these are basically just off-brand Lucky Charms. The oat cereal pieces are a little more dense and lack that slight sweetness of the oat pieces in Lucky Charms, but the marshmallows are the same chalky, sugary bits you know and love. Basically, it’s exactly what you would expect from looking at the picture on the box.
For cereal, Booty O’s is decent. It’s really not any better than Lucky Charms–in fact, it’s probably a little bit worse. As a junk food reviewer, I can’t possibly recommend spending $13 on this if you’re bored with Strawberry Cheerios or Tiny Toast and just looking for something new to eat for breakfast. As a wrestling fan though, if you’ve been waiting for Booty O’s to come out and want to splurge on this novelty product for its sheer ridiculousness alone, you won’t be disappointed.
Booty O’s are everything I’ve ever wanted, even if I never eat another bowl of them. They represent the fun and hilarity that The New Day exude whenever they’re on television. For that reason alone, I’m giving Booty O’s a score that’s only fitting for the longest reigning tag team champs in history. You might think it’s excessive, but I’d say I’m just feeling the power of positivity.
|Item:||WWE Booty O’s Cereal|
|Price and Place of Purchase:||$12.99 at FYE|
|Nutrition Facts (serving size-3/4 cup):||110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 180 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.|
|In a Nutshell:||Taste like knock-off Lucky Charms. Fantastic box design. By far, the most I’ll ever write the word “booty” in a review. Booty crowns.|
|Overall Score:||351 out of 10|
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