Shows centered around pranks and stunts have been a pillar of American culture for decades. Candid Camera. Scare Tactics. Punk’d. But back when I was a fat teenager, the MTV show Jackass was a cultural phenomenon. You know, the one with the nut shots and various crude acts with animals and whatnot. It was a real hit, but only lasted for three seasons and a few movies.
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m happy to report that Jackass is back for one night only! You can find it right here, in this very review. What I’m still trying to figure out is who the jackass is here: Nabisco, for thinking these Swedish Fish Oreos were a good idea, or me for deciding to eat them.
I’ve got to give a quick shoutout to Tony of @socalsnackhunters on Instagram (give them a follow, people!) for sending me this package of Swedish Fish Oreos. They’re exclusive to Kroger-owned grocery stores, which there are none of in my home state of Minnesota. So Tony was kind enough to send me a package, and for that, Tony, I thank you. Or I might actually hate you. I haven’t decided yet.
Swedish Fish Oreos feature a Swedish Fish flavored creme between chocolate cookies. I thought this seemed like an odd flavor combination, but Swedish Fish is already an odd choice for an Oreo flavor, so Nabisco probably didn’t think they had a lot to lose here. (Spoiler alert: they did.)
When you open a package of Swedish Fish candy, there’s a pleasant, somewhat waxy smell. That wasn’t the case here. These Oreos smell like someone melted Swedish Fish down into a thin liquid and pumped them directly into my nostrils. It’s unenjoyable and if not for the three people who read this blog, I would stop this review right here. But for you three, I must carry on and I’ll see you at Grandma’s birthday party.
For a split second, the creme doesn’t taste too bad on its own. It vaguely carries the flavor of Swedish Fish, and I really wanted to believe it was there. But it was all a tease–the worst kind of tease, the kind that doesn’t even begin with a person popping out of a cake or end with you ignoring said person and just eating the cake. The taste of the Swedish Fish flavored creme builds to this inexplicable chemical-tasting sour tang that just gets worse as you eat it. I felt like someone was punching me in the tongue.
The combination of the Swedish Fish flavored creme with the chocolate cookie is not pleasant at all. All I could taste of the chocolate cookie was its bitter cocoa elements, and that only worsened the sourness of the creme. I don’t think I’ve ever made as many unattractive faces as I did while eating these cookies. Oh my God I hate them so much.
Out of curiosity, I scraped out the inside of a Golden Oreo and replaced it with the Swedish Fish creme, just to see if it might taste any better. While it definitely helped not to have the bitter cocoa taste in the mix, the sweeter Golden wafer wasn’t enough to overcome the repulsive Swedish Fish creme. Nothing can save Swedish Fish Oreos. Nothing.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go ask Mrs. Snack Cellar when the trash guy comes to remove our garbage because I can’t throw these cookies away fast enough.
|Item:||Nabisco Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo|
|Price and Place of Purchase:||Sent to me, but retail for $2.99 at Kroger-owned stores|
|Nutrition Facts (serving size-2 cookies):||140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein.|
|In a Nutshell:||Smell like Swedish Fish on steroids. Swedish Fish flavored creme is a tease that turns into a sour chemical monster. Chocolate cookie was a terrible idea. The trash guy doesn’t come to remove our garbage until next week.|
|Overall Score:||2 out of 10|
Our friends at Junk Banter also reviewed Nabisco Limited Edition Swedish Fish Oreo. Check it out!
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