According to a recent Japanese study, eating ice cream makes you smarter. I don’t care if it’s fake or not, this is the news I’ve been waiting for. I’ve been trying to tell people I’m a genius for years. Now my fatass finally has the evidence to prove it. Thanks, science!
Ben & Jerry’s has decided to celebrate this fantastic news with their new Limited Batch Confetti Cake ice cream. It’s a Walmart exclusive flavor, and it features vanilla cake batter ice cream with cake pieces, vanilla frosting swirls, and sprinkles. Did you know? “Sprinkles” is the stupid people word for miniature fragments of confectionary used to add textural variety to various desserts. I know that because I’m a fat genius.
If Confetti Cake seems familiar to you, that’s because it’s similar to another limited edition Ben & Jerry’s flavor from earlier this year, Cake My Day. That flavor had the same vanilla cake batter ice cream and cake pieces, but featured buttercream frosting and raspberry swirls. In other words, that was more “wedding cake” and Confetti Cake is more “birthday cake.” It’s all cake, so I’m really not complaining.
Removing the lid, it looks like Limited Batch Confetti Cake might be a little more “confetti” than it is “cake.” And where are these so-called vanilla frosting swirls? I’m not calling the party off just yet, but this isn’t a great sign.
Okay, that’s better. The vanilla cake batter base is wonderfully rich, and much more enjoyable than Ben & Jerry’s vanilla ice cream. The sweetness of the vanilla frosting swirl pops up occasionally, but not enough to make much of a difference. It’s hard to tell whether the frosting swirl fails because it’s too similar to the cake batter ice cream, or because it’s overpowered by the super-sweet sprinkles. I’m guessing it’s the latter because there’s, like, a metric ton of sprinkles in here. If you don’t know what a metric ton is, eat more ice cream.
The cake in Limited Batch Confetti Cake ice cream can only be described as a missed opportunity. It’s sweet with a hint of vanilla, similar to store bought cake mixes. But there’s a scant amount of cake pieces in the pint, which is a huge letdown. Texturally, the cake pieces provide a nice chew, but they’re also somewhat dry among the creamy cake batter base. All in all, the cake pieces just felt like a miss, when they should have been a hit.
Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Confetti Cake ice cream is good, but it’s not worth a huge celebration. The vanilla cake batter base isn’t enough to make up for a lackluster swirl, meager cake pieces, and an excessive amount of sprinkles. On the bright side, though, it will make you smarter than all your friends. Not bad for $4.28 a pint.
|Item:||Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Confetti Cake Ice Cream|
|Price and Place of Purchase:||$4.28 at Walmart|
|Nutrition Facts (serving size-1/2 cup):||280 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 24 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein.|
|In a Nutshell:||Great cake batter base, but not enough frosting swirl. Went all in on sprinkles and is lacking in cake pieces. Becoming the next Albert Einstein one pint at a time.|
|Overall Score:||7.5 out of 10|