[3-Pack Review] White Cheesecake M&Ms, Hershey’s Cupcake Kisses, and Red Velvet Kit Kats

I’ve just got to say it: I hate Valentine’s Day.

For a day that’s supposed to be about love, it’s really just become a day full of stress. Now more than ever, there’s a ton of pressure to make your sweetheart feel extra special. Valentine’s Day used to be a day when you could just relax, split a 20-piece Chicken McNuggets value meal, and walk around the house for the rest of the night without pants on if you wanted to. No pressure. Now, you have to get dressed up and go out to dinner at that brand new restaurant with the two-hour wait for a table, which involves time, money, and worst of all, putting on pants.

But whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day or Singles Awareness Day, at least there’s one thing about the day that we can all embrace: candy.

This year, Valentine’s Day brings three brand new candies for you to seductively feed to your significant other (or yourself, I’m not judging). White Cheesecake M&Ms are a Walmart exclusive, while Cupcake Kisses are exclusive to Target. These two, along with Red Velvet Kit Kats, are bite-sized treats that are meant to taste like baked goods, and I am always in favor of eating baked goods as efficiently as possible.

White Cheesecake M&Ms feature a white chocolate center with cheesecake flavoring. This is far from the first time Mars has used white chocolate in M&Ms, and it probably won’t be the last. I actually really enjoyed their White Boo-tterscotch flavor last fall, so I’m excited to see how this White Cheesecake flavor compares.

Oh man, it’s terrible. The immediate and most apparent flavor is white chocolate, which is sweet and creamy. Okay, fine. But as you chew, a weird chemical taste emerges. Is this Mars’ attempt to reflect the tanginess of cheesecake? Whatever it is, it’s awful and oddly reminded me of black licorice. If these M&Ms were on Tinder, I’d swipe left every single time.

Hershey’s Cupcake Kisses are cupcake-flavored Kisses with colored cookie pieces. Hershey’s has been on a solid run with cookie-infused candy recently. Here’s hoping they can keep the streak alive with Cupcake Kisses…

…Yes, of course they can. Hershey’s white chocolate is excellent and contains a tinge of vanilla buttercream flavor throughout. The cookie pieces provide a great crunch, but not enough notable flavor to resemble “cake” or “cupcakes.” I should probably point out that these Cupcake Kisses are incredibly sweet, but what do you expect from candy that’s basically frosting in cute little tin foil wrappers?

Last but certainly not least, Red Velvet Kit Kats. Although Kit Kats come in a ton of crazy flavors in Japan, we’ve rarely seen any exciting flavors here in the United States. Just the sugary white coating alone is a sight for sore, fat eyes compared to the usual chocolate (or even white chocolate, for that matter). Please, Red Velvet Kit Kats. Don’t let us down.

Welp these Red Velvet Kit Kats are amazing. The white cream is a stunning combination of sweet, creamy, and slightly tangy, like the cream cheese frosting on red velvet cake. When you bite through the crispy cookie wafers inside, a bitter cocoa flavor leaps out, since after all, “red velvet” cake is actually a chocolate cake. The gritty texture of the wafers adds a more realistic effect of chewing a slice of cake than the Cupcake Kisses did. Guys…I think I love these Kit Kats. Like, actually love them. Sorry, Mrs. Snack Cellar. I found a new boo. ?

You’ve got options this Valentine’s Day, but just like those Tinder dates you’re chatting with, only a couple are even worth your time. Here, I’ll make this simple with a game of “Date, Marry, Kill.” Date: Cupcake Kisses. Marry: Red Velvet Kit Kats. Kill: White Cheesecake M&Ms.

But really though, are humans allowed to marry a bag of Kit Kats? Asking for a friend.

Item: White Cheesecake M&Ms, Hershey’s Cupcake Kisses, and Red Velvet Kit Kats
Price and Place of Purchase: White Cheesecake M&Ms: $2.99 at Walmart; Cupcake Kisses: $3.59 at Target; Red Velvet Kit Kats: $3.24 at Walmart
Nutrition Facts (serving size-M&Ms: about 1/4 cup, Kisses: 9 pieces, Kit Kats: 5 pieces): White Cheesecake M&Ms: 210 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 28 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.

Cupcake Kisses: 200 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.

Red Velvet Kit Kats: 220 calories, 100 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 19 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.

In a Nutshell: Red Velvet Kit Kats are fantastic. Cupcake Kisses are great but taste more like white chocolate and buttercream than cupcake. White Chocolate M&Ms turned out worse than a blind date. Marrying a bag of fun size candy bars.
Overall Score: White Cheesecake M&Ms: 4.5 out of 10

Cupcake Kisses: 8 out of 10

Red Velvet Kit Kats: 9.5 out of 10

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