[Review] Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites

I think I finally understand the meaning of the phrase “Christmas in July,” because tonight’s review comes straight from my Fat Kid Wish List™. Let’s take a look:

  1. Oreo paste in a squeezable tube
  2. Fudge Dipped Nutter Butters
  3. Nutella Oreos
  4. A cupcake stuffed inside of an even bigger cupcake
  5. Microwavable donuts filled with icing
I would buy a thousand tubes of Oreo Whiz.

New Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites are on shelves now, available in the freezer aisle. According to the package, they’re soft donut bites with a sweet cinnamon filling. They appear to be pretty similar to those Cinnabon Delights from Taco Bell, but with the added bonus that Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites don’t require you to put on pants. You can either microwave them or bake them–I decided to do both. You know, for science.

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Well, these Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites certainly pass the smell test. There’s an obvious scent of cinnamon and sugar once cooked, like Cinnabon set up shop in your microwave. For the record, Cinnabon, if you’d like to set up shop in my microwave, you’re more than welcome.

After letting the Bites cool for a minute, I removed them from the microwave and took a bite into the soft dough. They’re sweet at first, with the (rather skimpy) filling carrying a good cinnamon and sugar flavor. Then, a slight tang emerges, almost like…cream cheese? Sure enough, Neufchatel cheese is clearly listed in the ingredients. I guess that would make sense if these were, say, Cinnabon Delights, which mimic a glazed cinnamon roll, but these are Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites! Cinnamon Toast Crunch doesn’t have any cream cheese flavor at all, except when I happen to run out of milk and pour my cereal into a bowl of cream cheese frosting instead.

Here’s the kicker: these Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites are salty. Like, “Auntie Anne’s pretzels that you buy at the mall because you’re not gonna fit in that pair of jeans you want anyway” salty. It didn’t take long for the sweet and tangy tastes to subside before my tongue was hit with a wave of pure sodium. Frankly, it kind of spoiled the brief enjoyment I got from the cinnamon sugar filling.

Unfortunately, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites don’t improve when made in the oven. The fleeting sweetness from the filling almost instantly gives way to the overpowering saltiness of the dough, which has minimal cinnamon sugar flavor despite its outer coating. Oven baking might even be a downgrade in my opinion, because the Bites seem slightly drier compared to the microwave approach.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites are sure to catch your eye in the freezer aisle, but they don’t live up to the hype. The filling is a decent flavor combination of cinnamon, sugar, and Neufchatel cheese (?), but it’s completely overpowered by the salty dough surrounding it. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is one of my favorite cereals, and these Bites do a disservice to its name. Looks like it’s back to the Fat Kid Wish List™ drawing board…

I’ll just wait right here for that Oreo Whiz, Santa.

How Much It Cost and Where I Bought It: $4.99 at Hy-Vee
Just the (Nutrition) Facts:

Serving size—4 bites

180 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.
In a Nutshell: Filling has decent cinnamon, sugar, and cream cheese-like flavor, but there’s not a lot of it. Salty dough takes over quickly. Squirting Oreos into your mouth like Easy Cheese.
Overall Score: 5.5 out of 10
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