[Review] Nabisco Limited Edition Mystery Oreos

When I was younger, I loved playing the murder mystery board game “Clue.”

Part of my enthusiasm was the fun of solving a murder. Another part of my enthusiasm was because there’s a character named Colonel Mustard, and that reminded me of hot dogs. Okay, that was most of my enthusiasm. But looking back, I noticed that I have an even deeper connection with the game. Just take a look at this diagram of potential “Clue” crime scenes from my friends at Wikipedia:

“Clue” planted the early seeds for Snack Cellar! I couldn’t possibly have realized it back then (probably because I was too busy thinking about hot dogs) but that board game taught me the word “cellar,” and that was the inspiration for this blog. What a genesis story.

Now, it’s time to put my detective hat and trenchcoat back on. Get off my hot dog, Colonel Mustard. I’ve got a cookie mystery to solve!

Limited Edition Mystery Oreos combine my love for mysteries with my love for cookies. They’re a “mystery” because Nabisco isn’t saying what the flavor of the creme is, but if you guess correctly on the official Mystery Oreos website, you could win $50,000. Things you can buy with $50,000 include a new car, this autographed pool table from the Playboy Mansion, and a lot of hot dogs.

Mystery Oreos feature a chocolate Oreo cookie and a mystery flavor creme. There’s something hilarious about the packaging’s note that the creme is “artificially flavored.” I definitely wasn’t expecting a “mystery flavor creme” to be anything close to natural flavored, but I appreciate Nabisco’s honesty.

Opening the package, I’m greeted by a familiar smell. Ah, yes…these smell just like Fruity Crisp Oreos. The aroma is sweet and unmistakably fruity. Unmistakably “Fruity Crisp,” even.

But the creme isn’t so unmistakable. It initially seems like it’s Fruity Crisp without the cereal pieces, because it’s really sweet and fruity as the aroma suggests. But then, different fruit flavors pop out in rapid succession, some leaning toward berry and others more vaguely citrus. This is the most confusing Oreo I’ve ever eaten, and that includes Swedish Fish Oreos.

The chocolate cookie doesn’t help solve anything. Is this just Fruity Crisp with a chocolate cookie? Is the cookie intentionally paired with a fruit that goes well with chocolate, like orange or raspberry? I have so many questions and the answer honestly doesn’t matter, because this isn’t a very good tasting Oreo anyway.

Mystery Oreos are the most frustrating Oreo of all time. I’ve been angrily eating Oreos all day, and I still don’t know for sure what flavor the creme is. I’m inclined to say Fruity Crisp, but if I know Nabisco, the real flavor is something similar enough but just slightly different, like “Berry Sorbet” or “Lemon Lime.”

At this point, I’m just tossing ideas at the wall to see what sticks. But if any of you submit those ideas for the official Nabisco contest and you win, just buy me a couple hot dogs to return the favor. That’s all I ask. 🌭

How Much It Cost and Where I Bought It: $2.99 at Target
Just the (Nutrition) Facts:

Serving size—2 cookies

140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 30 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein.
In a Nutshell: Probably Fruity Crisp but I don’t care. Worst mystery ever.
Overall Score: 5 out of 10
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